Fantasy Boyfriends

Seeing John Schneider aging surprisingly well on Nip/Tuck last night - in spite of the fact that he was playing a LA porn titan aptly named Ram - got me thinking about my fantasy boyfriends through the years. You know the ones... at least I hope you do... not the mere crushes, but the ones you'd lie awake at night imagining how you'd meet cute while he was filming some project in DC, and how he'd ask you out and tell you that you weren't like all the other fake Hollywood girls he usually dated (delusion much Lis?)....


Well, my fantasy boyfriends started when I was actually not much older than wee Leila with Christopher Robin, the best friend a denizen of the 100 Acre Woods could have.Seriously. I used to walk around my grandparents' house talking to him on a Fisher Price phone. I think it must have been the page-boy haircut and Mary Jane shoes.


Then there was the aforementioned John Schneider when I was 10/11 years old. I fell for him as Bo Duke, of course, but these days he looks more like this:

Even better! Let's just forget that there was a time when he was a country music performer when he looked like this:
And the best of all fantasy boyfriends...the love of my life from seventh grade right on into college (seriously - friends made me sit down on my dorm room bed before they'd break the news of his tragic overdose to me)... River Phoenix. Oh dear River, I still have moments of missing you. Actually, perhaps in tribute to your memory, I don't think I've had a fantasy boyfriend since.
However, if Joaquin came along......